


valid to me

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Evan Hansen, First Kiss, Fluff, I’m sorry, Kleinsen, M/M, homophobic heidi, jared is a good boyfriend, pansexual jared kleinman, tw for homophobia and biphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 02:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15109550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Evan comes out to Heidi and it doesn’t go as planned. Fortunately, Jared is there, and he is a Very Good Boyfriend.™️





	valid to me

**Author's Note:**

> so basically I’m only putting this here bc it was very well received on amino and that’s it

“But, Evan… that’s not real.”

Evan’s pale fingers dug into the armrest of the couch as he turned his shocked eyes to his mother, his breath hitching. “What- what do you mean?”

Heidi shook her read sadly. Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she repeated herself. “This… this bisexuality thing… it’s not real, Evan.” She moved forward slightly to lay her hand on Evan’s arm, but her son flinched away, the horror in his eyes evident.

“Of c-course it’s real! I know it is!” Evan pleaded. A few tears found their way to the front of his eyes and he scrambled backwards. He began to blink furiously as he pressed himself against the back of the couch, unable to meet the familiar blue eyes of his mother just sitting a few feet away. His mind was buzzing- he didn’t know what to do.

“I’m sorry.” Heidi let out a breathy sigh. “It’s just- Ev, maybe it’s better for us if we just forget about this whole thing. Besides, isn’t liking the same gender…” She gestured vaguely with her hands. “Doesn’t it seem a bit odd to you?”

“No.” Evan couldn’t keep the choked up-sounding word from escaping his mouth. He immediately regretted saying it- every word he uttered sent Heidi deeper into this hole of biphobia she’d dug for herself.

“No?” Heidi arched an eyebrow. “Well, okay, then… it’s alright. I’m sure this is just a passing phase.”

Evan shook his head stubbornly. “It’s not a phase,” he mumbled. A few tears slid down his cheeks, and he looked pleadingly up at Heidi, silently willing her to change her mind.

Please just accept me and love me for who I am. Like you promised. What happened to your promise? 

Heidi’s face formed a smile that was chillingly friendly. “It’s okay, Ev. We’ll work through this together, okay? Talk to Dr. Sherman about it at your next appointment. I’m sure she’ll help you with this. It’s just like your anxiety, it’s something we can work on fixing, huh?”

That was when Evan’s upsetedness finally bubbled to the surface.

“Something worth fixing, huh?” he seethed. His fists clenched at his sides. “Something you think you can just- just medicate? Something that’s actually a problem? This isn’t something you can change like that. Anxiety may be screwing up my life, but-but…” he trailed off, grappling at his mind for words, unclenching his fingers and drumming them on the armrest with agitation.

“The only reason that being bi is screwing up my life is because of you!” Evan exploded. His cobalt eyes blazed as he held Heidi’s gaze steadily. His chest rose and fell rapidly with every shaking breath.

Heidi inhaled sharply. “Evan, I think it might be wise for you to step out of the room for a bit-“

“You want me to?” Any thoughts in Evan’s head that might have been even somewhat rational were now jumbled beyond recognition. He stood and lifted his chin defiantly. “I will, then. I won’t just leave the room, either- I’ll leave the house! I’ll... I’ll go visit Jared. I’m sure he’ll be alright with me. Did you know he’s pansexual? I bet you don’t even know what that is-“

“Evan-“

“-and I’m guessing you hate him now too-“

“Evan-“

“and since I know he likes me for who I am, I guess I’ll just be leaving.”

There was a beat of silence that passed between mother and son- a beat of silence that lasted far too long- a beat of silence that led to several silent tears spilling down faces, before Evan turned and exited through the front door of their house without a single word. 

Heidi didn’t move.  
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—————————  
It was pouring rain outside.

Sniffling, Evan pulled his phone out of his back pocket and quickly texted Jared a short message. He jumped when he heard the distant boom of thunder somewhere several miles away, but he kept his breathing steady and his eyes glued to his phone, determined to type a readable response.

_please I need to come over right now sorry_

His thumb was shaking as he pressed the send button. Jared was always on his phone- no doubt Evan would get a reply quickly. He bit his lip as the “read: 4:56 PM” showed up under the blue bubble, and then let out an exhale of relief when it showed that Jared was typing.

_sure, np… everything ok tree boy?_

Not exactly. But Evan didn’t feel like standing here in the pouring rain explaining it all to Jared via text when he could just wait until he arrived and maybe explain it a bit more coherently.

_I’ll explain when I get there jare ok?_

Jared replied again instantly.

_yep sure, see ya soon <3 _

Evan let out a long breath of relief, his heart skipping a beat. 

Something Evan would never admit to was that just Jared’s use of a heart emoji sent his heart doing backflips in his chest. Even though they’d been (secretly) dating for about a month now, he wasn’t used to the sudden affection, and they left him always feeling a bit uncertain. Anybody who acted this loving to him made him a bit uncertain. It felt fake. Who could actually love him that much? He wasn’t anything special. Jared could do so much better than him. Evan wouldn’t argue, for now, but he knew that there would come a day when Jared realized how annoying and pointless his boyfriend really was.

But that wasn’t now.

For now, Evan just had to pull his hood over his eyes, and begin the short journey to the Kleinmans.’

A sudden, unwelcome thought struck Evan- what if Heidi had called one of Jared’s parents and told them not to let Evan in? He had told Heidi that’s where he’d be going. He stifled a groan. What an idiot he was. He should have seen that coming. Maybe he could go over to Alana’s house if this didn’t work- Alana would always be welcoming. Fortunately, both of his classmates lived in the same neighborhood as he did so it wouldn’t be a horrible walk, no matter what (save for the torrential downpour currently going on.)

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——————————-

The Kleinmans’ house was very easily recognizable because of the dozens of colorful lawn ornaments strewn across the front yard, creating a shiny sea of rainbow metal and constant clinking of wind chimes. In many ways, not just this one, Jared’s parents were a bit… eccentric, but they’d been good friends with the Hansens for years. Now, time seemed to slow as Evan toiled up the sidewalk to the front door, soaked, crying, and chilled to the bone, wondering if the people he’d thought of almost like a second set of parents would turn him away. 

A few moments passed before the red door swung open and Evan was able to let out a shaky breath of relief. Standing in front of him was Jared Kleinman himself, glasses askew and hair uncombed. For a second Evan was caught off guard by how utterly adorable the other boy looked, but he was torn from his thoughts when Jared’s eyes widened in horror and he stuck out a pale hand to grab Evan’s.

“Christ, Hansen, how long have you been standing out there?” Jared growled, tugging Evan inside. “You look like a drowned dog.”

“I’ll explain in a bit,” Evan said meekly. Jared snorted, clutching Evan’s hand tighter and pulling him along into the living room. 

“You bet your ass you will. Right now, you’re going to sit down on this couch and you are going to stay put while I go upstairs and find some dry clothes for you. Got it?” Letting go of Evan’s hand, Jared placed his own hands on Evan’s shoulders and stared sternly at him. Jared may be playing tough now, Evan thought, but there was a definite softness behind the stormy blues and browns of his boyfriend’s gaze. 

All the same, he couldn’t keep the word from tumbling out of his mouth. “S-sorry.”

“Ev.” Jared’s hard-set jaw relaxed a little, and his features fell slightly with sadness. “Whatever happened to you, don’t apologize, you idiot. Because you’re here now, you’re safe, and I’ll be right back.”

“Okay… thanks,” Evan whispered back, offering a weak smile. 

Jared just nodded, turned, and walked out of the room, leaving Evan’s heart feeling slightly fuller than before.

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——————————-

Five minutes later Jared emerged into the living room holding a pile of clothes. He set a brisk pace toward the sodden shape huddled on his couch, and sat down beside Evan, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. “Ev, hey, I got your clothes.” 

Evan didn’t react immediately. He stirred and sniffled a bit before sitting up with only slight struggle, blinking the tiredness out of his eyes. “Hi.”

“Get changed, you dork,” Jared sighed, holding the clothes out for Evan to take. “You still need to explain what the crap happened to you today. And you can’t do that if you’re catching pneumonia. You know where the bathroom is, you can change there if you want. I’ll be right here, okay?”

Evan nodded slowly. “Okay.” He hesitated, glancing around the room for a minute before settling his eyes back on Jared, seemingly to find if anyone else was in the room. “Is it okay if I just change in here? Like if you could just… turn around or something?”

Jared smiled. “No problem, tree boy!” He cocked an eyebrow. “I mean, I’ll try not to watch, but I’m sure you look pretty hot without any clothes on.”

A deep blush crept up Evan’s neck and he sighed. “Jared.”

“My cat.”

“What?”

“I thought we were saying the names of the people we loved most in the whole wide world?” Jared said innocently. 

Evan stared at Jared, still dripping with rainwater, his arms limp at his sides. Jared was so random. “I think- I think that’s besides the point,” he muttered. 

Jared sighed. “Sure, whatever, I’ll look away now,” he said breezily and waved his hand in Evan’s general direction before turning around and crossing his arms over his chest. “Just trying to lighten the mood, jeez.”

Once he was finished, Evan pulled Jared’s oversized hoodie over his head, huffing with agitation. “Sorry.”

“Please don’t be,” Jared pleaded, tensing up a bit. “I’m the one that should be sorry. You’ve obviously been through something shitty today. I shouldn’t be joking around yet.”

Smiling softly, Evan approached Jared from behind and wrapped his arms around the slightly shorter boy, giving a gentle giggle. “Thanks, Jare...I’m done, can we cuddle now?”

Jared winced as all the air was knocked out of him. “Oof. You’re impatient.” When Evan refused to dislodge himself, he groaned. “Okay, fine.” He tried to stumble over to the couch, but it was proving difficult with Evan attached to him like a leaf to a branch. “Come on, Ev.” He tried to sneak a bit of a laugh into his tone, to prevent another useless apology from his boyfriend. 

“Sor-“

“Nope.” Jared flopped down onto the couch and Evan, who had finally torn himself away, settled down beside him and placed his head on Jared’s chest. “Not needed, tree nerd. And don’t apologize again,” he warned when he saw Evan open his mouth. “Or no cuddling for you.”

“That’s fair,” Evan admitted. He took a deep breath before continuing. “You know what isn’t fair, though?” Pausing again, he tilted his head up to look at Jared before adding, “Sorry, can I rant for a bit?”

Jared threaded one of his hands with Evan’s. “That’s literally the whole reason you came over here, isn’t it?”

“I guess. That and this is the only place I figured I could go after what happened.”

“Oh no.” The words sent a pang of fear through Jared’s heart. “So, what happened?”

Evan could feel his anxiety catching up to him. _Inhale, exhale. You’re okay._ “I came out to my mom.”

Evan let the words sink in for a moment before he heard Jared take a deep shuddering breath in. “Crap, Ev. Did- did she-“

“Yep.” 

And then Evan just couldn’t keep it inside anymore. He told Jared the whole story- how he’d confessed his bisexuality to Heidi, how she’d claimed unsettlingly calmly that it was just a phase and he’d get over it eventually, and then she’d started yelling and told him to leave. By the end of the story Evan was crying. “It was so unlike her,” he finished, tears streaming down his cheeks. “And now I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh my god, Ev.” Jared wrapped his arms tighter around Evan, now trying to keep down the lump in his own throat. “Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Nobody. That was seriously a dick move.”

“Maybe she didn’t mean it,” Evan managed weakly. “Maybe she’ll take it back.”

Jared huffed. “I wish. But don’t get your hopes up. But…” He trailed off for a moment. “I have a solution. Until further notice, you live with me, ‘kay?”

“Really?” Evan asked, slowly lifting his head up. Jared nodded in response.

“But what would your parents say?” he added in a hushed whisper, his eyes going wide.

“My parents are around about as much as yours are. Hence the empty house. Apparently, their work is more important than their kid.” Jared’s voice was bitter as he stared down at his feet. “They probably wouldn’t even notice. But I’m sure they’d be fine with it. I’m not out to them, but I know they’re not total assholes.”

“That’s… that’s good.” Evan lifted his head off of Jared’s chest and sat up so they were leaning against each other, Evan wiggling a bit to get into a comfortable position. “Thanks for being so… so nice to me about this.”

Jared sounded shocked. “Of course. Ev. You’re my boyfriend and I freaking love you. What would-“

Evan let out a little squeak of delight, interrupting Jared. “You… you love me?” he asked, his eyes brightening.

The other boy blinked. “Yeah…” He regarded Evan with a puzzled expression, a slight smile playing on his lips. “You idiot, of course I do. Why wouldn’t I? I’ve known you forever, you know. I’ve loved you since before we started dating.”

Evan grinned. Suddenly his mind was whirling. “Wow. That’s devotion.”

“It’s easy.” Jared turned to face Evan, moving his hand under Evan’s chin and tilting it up so their eyes met evenly. He grazed his thumb gently over Evan’s cheek and his gaze softened. “Let me prove it to you. Is- is this okay? Sorry, I know this is probably a bad time.” He felt suddenly giddy, overwhelmed with the knowledge that he could finally shower Evan with all the love he deserved. 

Evan’s heart felt like it would thump out of his ribcage, but he nodded. “We’ve never- we’ve never done this before,” he pointed out.

“All that matters to me is that I get the message across that I love you and you’re valid to me no matter what,” Jared promised. “I don’t care if it’s awful, honestly.”

The only response he got was a breathless nod, which he took as a consenting gesture.

“Okay.” Swallowing nervously, Jared removed his glasses and placed them on the coffee table in front of the couch, then took one of Evan’s hands in his. He leaned back and admired his boyfriend for a moment, grinning. “Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?”

“S-stop with the pointless flattering, Jared,” Evan mumbled, his face growing red. “You’re making me nervous.”

Jared laughed. “Okay. You still want to do this?”

“Of course.”

Jared nodded, flicking his gaze to Evan’s lips briefly before leaning in and closing the distance between them.

Evan shut his eyes as soon as the contact was made out of sheer surprise more than anything else, but as the moments passed, he found himself enjoying it more and more. His hand somehow found his way into Jared’s soft hair- and goodness, it really was soft, he noted with a smile. He felt Jared’s own hand move to the back of his neck and pulling him impossibly closer. 

Evan squeezed Jared’s hand once before pulling away. “Wow,” he laughed breathlessly.

“Short but sweet,” Jared agreed. “I love you, Ev. And never forget- no matter what anybody else says, no matter what it may feel like- you are always, always valid to me.”

“Thanks, and I- I love you too.” Evan stopped short as he felt a vibration in his back pocket. “Oh no.”

Jared’s relaxed demeanor was gone in a second. “What is it?”

Pulling his phone out, Evan’s throat went dry as he turned it on. Displayed across his screen was a single text from “mom:)”-

_Come home, Evan. I need to apologize._


End file.
